Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
