This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
