So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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