It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
wow bdsm is so cute
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
