I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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