but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
