I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he puts the penis in happiness.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
