carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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