Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
