I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
