He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
