I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You have to summon your inner elephant
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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