do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
