You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
