dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
