You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
