I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
