One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
