i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
