Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
