everyone is single if you try hard enough
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize