he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
