I smell stomach acid.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
