found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
