Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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