yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
