so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
