i wish there were pregnant emoticons
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
