return my video game
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
