I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
