sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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