good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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