i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Michael Bay diarrhea
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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