rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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