maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
