Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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