I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
