btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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