i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
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