Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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