:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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