I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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