And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I cut my penus on the lid.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
