watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
