Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
