Pappa wants mamma naked
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
