i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
