what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
