john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
