Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
