I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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