We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
