Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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