he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Four minutes until I can fart!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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