If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Everyone says I win the strip club
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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